Lately, I've been feeling a little overwhelmed. I pay $25 a month for a subscription to lynda.com. It's an amazing site, but at the same time, I feel like I'm on a time limit. I can't just go on studying forever, because that's a lot of money to put out.
I'm taking a beginner's course in PHP and MySQL, and it's not as easy to absorb as I'm used to. When I was learning HTML5, it was easier than plain old HTML or XHTML. Amazing. CSS was a joke. It took me about 2 weeks before I had a good feel for it. But PHP makes me feel kind of stupid. I can and am learning it. Pretty well, too, I think. But, I can't just read or watch a video, and voila! I know PHP! No. It's more like, "Let me watch this again to see if I can figure out what he's talking about." And usually that does the trick. But tomorrow, I'll recognize it, but I can't just start typing it and be error free.
Perhaps it's not my pocket, but my ego, that's suffering here. MySQL isn't so bad, though. That made me feel a little better. But being formally uneducated, I have to admit that it makes me insecure. I didn't get to 10th grade, so I often feel ignorant. I'm educating myself now, but I doubt I'll ever be comfortable when I don't know every last thing about my chosen expertise. And with programming, I doubt that you CAN know every single last thing about any given language. Dunno. Asi son las cosas.
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